| | From my Christian Feminisms journal writting tonight...we have to write in a journal for Christian Fems, responding to the readings etc, mine led me to an epiphany tonight, and I am here sharing it.
The part of the readings for today from Feminism & Christianity struck me especially. I have struggled with the idea of literal interpretation of the Bible vs. chucking the whole thing out the window for a long time. There are so many things that people quote directly and condemn different actions, or lifestyles, or people groups, or anything really. Given the amount of text in the bible, I'm pretty sure that you could take it and pick and choose things to support ANY position on an issue. Before I had read the chapter in Feminism & Christianity, as I was reading the passages about treatment of women, my mind was already being critical of how to interpret the text. Paul basically says at one point "God didn't actually tell me this, but he made me wise, and my wisdom has brought me to the conclusion that…" I wondered what to think of that, Paul himself saying, "Well, this isn't really God's word, but I bet he'd agree with me!" just seems ridiculous to me.
The simple way to put this is that I agree almost entirely with the chapter in Feminism & Christianity. I found myself highlighting like crazy throughout the chapter and thinking, "This is a great, concise way to state how I really feel about it!". I was excited, especially in a climate like Hope's where the Bible is typically taken almost at face value, to hear from someone else that it gets affected SO much by the cultural climate and the nature of creating a canon. We learned last semester in Western World Lit about the canon of western literature and how it evolved and formed, what the process is of literature getting reproduced and saved for generations. Part of that dealt with biblical texts, especially the Gnostic gospels. Those present quite a problem with the validity of the biblical canon. What about these gospels that were made around the same time, perhaps even closer to Jesus' lifetime? Someone, a roman government official, has decided that they aren't an accurate representation and so one person decides to throw out part of what would be considered God's word. Those decisions hardly seem fair or accurate to me.
As a relatively liberal person and yet a believer in God, though not necessarily of—
I was writing that, but I had a religious epiphany mid-sentence, so I'm going to change lanes, kind of. This comes from several places and experiences from an extended time frame and so it might take some explaining, and if you want to skip ahead and get to the point, I really wouldn't blame you. I stopped classifying / defining myself as a Christian last April when I realized that I didn't believe in the exclusivity of Christ. I believe that there are many other ways to reach God and they are just as right and valid as my way of reaching God through Christ had been. But then I kind of hit this spiritual dry spell because in accepting all other forms of reaching God I had rejected the way I knew how to get there. I didn't like that being saved by Jesus was the only way, and so I pushed it away. I thought that my way was right and logical and so I left it at that, and was content with the replacement of true spiritual fulfillment with logic and acceptance. At times I felt the presence of God strongly in my life, and at other times I felt like I had, by broadening my view of God put it in such a huge idea that it was no longer attainable. In a way, I thought that because I was aware of the vastness of God and man's attempt to understand God by compartmentalizing Divinity into religions, I was beyond that need to compartmentalize, and my knowledge of this vast God was enough. It wasn't. I needed something close, something intimate. I no longer had a relationship with my all-religion-encompassing-God. Sometimes this bothered me more than others. Two conversations with friends, and now my newly realized understanding of the bible have come to culminate in a new understanding of what Jesus means to me.
Last fall I had a minor faith crisis in which I doubted my broad acceptance view point. What if I was wrong? I thought. What if I do need Jesus, and my lack of commitment to him is causing this discontented spirituality? I began talking to my friend Matt, who is by all accounts the most biblically devoted person I know. He is also very intelligent, and deliberate about his choice of words, which makes conversations with him frustrating sometimes. After a very long conversation (they always are), Matt and I settled on the fact that even if Jesus isn't necessarily the only way to God, his stories and parables are still very valuable lessons to live by. His example, and in my opinion, purpose in the stories, is to provide an example of how to be one with God, of how to live your life in harmony with God. I accepted this. But it still didn't make me a Christian. I still didn't believe that Jesus' death and resurrection saved me from all of my sins and that was my ticket to heaven.
Just a few days ago I had a conversation with one of my housemates who has struggled with Christianity and biblical interpretations as well, especially being a gay Christian. She had decided that because she grew up in the context of Christianity it was perfectly reasonable for her to, while still accepting the validity of other religions, experience God through the constructs of Christianity. She had reconciled the exclusivity of Christ and the broader spectrum of her convictions. I hadn't reconciled it, because it still seemed as though to follow Christ I had to believe that he died for my sins and to save me, and that meant that only he had, and that I had to in some way reject other religions validity. It didn't add up in my head, it couldn't be reconciled, and I was jealous of my friend for her ability to figure it out and accept Christianity as her way of reaching God.
After reading more about the literal interpretation of the bible, and the way that so many factors must be taken into consideration when interpreting the text, it has finally been reconciled in my mind. I had already accepted that some parts of the bible were open to interpretation and had to be considered in a cultural context, but the fundamental Christian belief that Jesus died as our savior seemed too direct to be up for interpretation, and for most Christians it is. I however, think that just like the story of Jesus' death may be considered as a myth or a general representation of what happened, rather than a literal record of the events. Part of my conversation with Matt resulted in the idea that we are all Jesus. That in living like him we become like him, and that in the terminology of the bible we, like Christ, are all children of God. The parallels made sense, and I now think that Jesus was sent or was part of this intricate plan because he is the shining example of what we are to be like. Or at least for some of us he is. Others think that Mohommad figured it out, or that they can learn from the example of other animals, or that they can be one with God by experiencing nature. I can be one with God by living like the Jesus that the bible represents, Jesus was an important part of the plan because of the way he affected so many people. The Jews still believe that their example is coming, and there probably will be another example. God gives us many chances and different ways to interact with him. If I can do that by following the example of Jesus from the bible then that's how I will. Because of the interpretation and complexity of the bible I can't possibly expect the account of Jesus being the way to God to be 100% factual, correct, or perfect. I can choose to reinterpret that aspect of the bible for myself and not necessarily come to the conclusion that Jesus is the only way, but rather that love is (which is what I am likely to conclude).
The point is: I can call myself a Christian, because I can be a follower of Christ without negating the validity of other religions. The story of Jesus isn't 100% factual or represented wholly by the bible, and I recognize that.
Thanks for bearing with all that, and thank for playing an important part in this new discovery. At some point I will probably rewrite this is a way that makes more sense / explains more fully. |
